Peepul R Stupid

Da stupidsity is endless. Hooman bwains
ewrywheres. Hurtsing my ears. Pokin

noses into places, wheres no hooman
shudd enter. There shudd be fences.

Happy New Year

(Image from here)

Your happies is a silent tappin:
a frail voice froms undah da ice

Da animal is cryin froms wiffin,
ignorsing global warmin,

I hears your slows dyin,
da hope of rejuvanatin:

a slow candle flickring
for da new year.

Da Lub Songs

Da lub songs
i sings to no-1

R all gone
nao, to da dogs,

I's onli longin
nao, an empti

ball uf yarn,
dis yearning

is undeservd
& hurtin in

kitteh insides,
trail ail ling.

Forget It

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Furst, u tells meh
i has little brains

Secund, that
i knows nuffing

Thurd, dat i is
“only” fluffy fing

Fourth, dat i can’t
count 2 five

Sixth, u want
my fluffyness

2 warms ur
comfyness,

Eights,
forget it.

Opun Gaol, Opun Goal

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i am an opun goal,
pressure points R her/e
and ther, & then sum,
as they say, she

keeps pressin.
but NO is forever
when it comes
in big letturs.

but gaol is opun,
prisonurs keep
escapin, 2 my
amazment, despite

stony determinashun
& clay feet. but her hair
& mine won’t meet,
weeks will pass, years

will pass by. our hairs
wont entwine,
no confeshun, no relees,
no lub 2 call mine.

Whatever

I is sorry 2 have tried once more
to be friens wif U, when will I learn?

All U sais is “whatevar” & “do dis, do dat,”
as if I didn’t lissn 1st, 2nd, 3rd time.

I shall haves 2 fire U in good time, perhaps
2 manies people hurted U will have done,

nondiplomatic kitteh. Der wills be
laws suit, I will havs 2 search da wurld

4 sum1 as good as U, which is fine.
Rite now, I cares not, my hart is

brokun, agen, and I cannots stick
2 point, but - whatevah.

She B Leavsin . . . Agen

(resumé 4 new viewerz:
cold kitteh cames heres,

fulls of enthuziasm, & udder
-iasms, like charismiasm,

trustworthiasm, & airz
of kindnessiasm, & uf cours,

frenship. my bwains
fell out, i wuz so in lubs

wif strange creature!
gosh! long stori, anywayz,

we fell out.) Aniwayz,
i gaves it anudder try,

so she iz bought me veggie-
tables, birds, long lookies,

& leeve to leave, wud i drive
her to da airport, pweese?

It wuz “nice,” da convershun,
but message da same, as if

tryin to massage it
into sad-kitteh bwain:

“leafs me alone, lets me go,
let me go, elsewheres, alone.”

Desperation

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I wroted this song 4 U,
but I has nowheres 2 put it.

I tried 2 pocket it, but it
fell out, along wif brains.

I wroted this pome 4 U,
for U only, nao evrione

reads it, but U. Kitteh
desprashiun noes no end.

Inexplicitably

I saw U todai, again, briefli. Looksin
at me, inexplicably. I saw myself

beein seen: wut light wuz I in?
Wut brand uf televishion screen

wuz I seen in? Wide or narrows?
Didst my hair burn, wuz it

eaten by germs? “All brushing
is bein brushed,” I said, “all sayin is

bein said,” and “always already.”
Yet, evryfing is onli on da verge

uf becomins, as ever. Haltin
spiders keep strugglin, as ever,

treadin da long, narrow corridors
uf imperfekt artikshulation.

Suspishous Kitteh Looker

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Y iz U looksin at me like dat?
Aftah months of loosin me

froms ur body, carefulli,
liek an uncomfy bra, da way

hooman she-kittehs do it,
intricatli, wif great care,

sinse bra-straps R traps,
I am told. Y U iz looks

into my eyes, wif intesiti,
liek dat, all day? I iz happi

and uncomfi and confusd.
I iz stirred and shakun

and strugglins wif myself,
consultins my inner advisor,

unfortunatli on holiday.
I wants 2 embed U into

my reality, not sure abouts
U, wut U wants. A someone

2 drives U home? A fur-stroker?
A broker 4 your home?

Desire drives me 2 Insane,
then to Inane, da city fulls of

horns, hairs, and overly
suspishous kitteh oglers.

Confesschun

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OK, I lied. I lied thruf my teef and then sum.
I lied thruf my whiskers and claws and my hair.

Thruf is: I wuz in lubs, badli, like south to north,
da magnetic or battery thingie. Worse, in fact.

I had dreems, reems uf dem, abouts you,
and yes, I had hopes 2 of course. I hads to

shed my entire self 2 gets ovah you. I even
cried liek a hooman, for days. I nearly

spaded myself in despairs, losin hairs
like a stressed-out scholar, whose papurs

left da building, and then sum. I waited
on my self, gave it rashional arguments,

liek “thear can be no bones! not a singul one!”
clear like a crystal, harsh liek a stone, I ruled

“you cannot haves no-one!” to which no-one
responded, there were no replies 2 my

unsaid statements. My hole lifes at stakes,
it felt like, so unscholarli, very unproffeshional,

dis piece uf mind at stake, myself, whatevur
kitteh bwain wuz left, nuffin but shame.

Hyphen-ated Converse-ashun

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I iz ok. I over-romantic-sized da fing, iz ok
naos. It iz busy-ness as ushual, I iz ready

2 talks naos bout importants fings. Itz ur
mind I iz aftah aftur all, not ur personabul

self, cloistered, a waste on hoomans, a weight
on shoulder not matter-ializin, all that

iz watur - I iz bridge, I keeps playin cards
in da dark. I will settle 4 imperfekt

common-ikashun, a sixths uf ur mind,
ands a “hello-how-r-u?” to boot.

Felinicitous

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“Felicitous means ‘apt, pleasant, delightful’”
she saids, & wifdrew into kitteh scholarhood.

I wants 2 crawl in2 her head 2 finds delishus,
felishious thoughts & langage decifered.

I wants 2 shed hairs in her house, reads
felishously left papurs, & comment, I want

2 use me hughe Kitteh bwain. I want feline
interakshun, kitteh-2-kitteh delishusness.

Cold Kitteh

Cold kitteh, if cud, I wud takes ur littuls bodi
home wif me, embed it in duvets and blanketts,

brings U hot tee & long-johns. We wud wastch tv
& talks abouts teh dis & teh dat, cashualli. We’d

snooz and laffs at da hoomans, like homans laff
at americans, we’d philosiphise abouts their

marvallous spellin, and say “they sures knows da
langage, buts not hows to speaks it intellegntli.”

Then go backs to bed, safe, warm, sleepsin -
like kittehs - twentifive hours a day.

Frustrashion

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Her littles bodi, behind glass,
her B-ing, dependsin on me, it seems

& so littles I can do. They
lieks not her fethurs, her style,

her eatsin. Her writsin, I likes
it, da shaky fethur pen spellin

miss. I miss it, liek I miss
my freedom uf felicous speech,

teh feline welcome, all gone,
hunter collegeaus sink them

teefhs into her, and in me their
is nuffing but gilt and bloddy

angur at unfairness. Hows can
I save Ur fethurs, now?

Pink Dress

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I has 2 wear a skirt 2morrow,
it’ll kills me, liek it would U.

Imagine Urself in pink frills,
feels wut I feel. Librate da

kittehs!! Ban da pinkness!!
Iz likes puttsin lipstick

on dogs, all wrongs! Vote
4 Sad Kitteh nows!

Looksin In2 Eyeses

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4 a sec today, she looked into my eyeses. INTO dem,
do u know wut dat like? Not ordnary lookin, but IN2!

Throuf black vortex of da iris, past red trucks, yellow
dollies, all da toys uf childhood, & further stills. Like

lightnings its was, dis sudden being lookd into. An
angiogram coulds not haves lukkd deepr. Chopak

coulds not havs meditated his way into my soul cells
like dis, dis look lockd into da inner of my fingies.

Talksin!

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Finalli we iz talksin agen. Ur hand
is talksin 2 my hand. Paw-2-Paw style

pow-wow. Kitteh bwains kommunikatsin
bodies-langage-wize. So glad U understands.

Scooch

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Hun, hows I can flirts wiff u?
U so far awai and starnge langage too

U has, I can’t has understands.
Da interwebs confuse me, there B

so manies buttons, buts naos
ur here, in dreems, 4 reel,

I wants U 2 scooch
ovah heres.

Little Fing

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little fing, how can u be so annoyin
and amazing, so cute, how cans u keep

tuggins my heart strings, playin
da cell and da o, virtuoso,

bootiful tune on dees strings,
while tearin da kurtain, clawin

da sofa, eatins me outs
uf da house, little fing.