Pwease

I cannot interpwet u
Starnger than a sfinsks
U r. I no can has

unredstarnding of hao much
fool I mades of maiselves.

So, pwease, xplain
dis 2 meh,
hoo u ares.

Waitsing

Dis ridiclous.
Cheak to screen
paws on button

just in kase
she writses.
I perpared

a replies
2 dis unritten
massege.


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Angary Kitteh

- Do it urself, if u so guuudddd
at it! Kittehsize meh in pulbic!
An if u fink I’z soe funnie

why don u keel meh nao
sinse I so stoopid, deares
muther katsie?

An pweese, tellz meh why
I noe can has mehtall too, when
u has solid menthal

brainz? So, Kitteh,
Wai donts u
keels me nows

and havs it overz wif?
I noes aks fo dis
stoopid jub.


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Teh U an Meh

Wooman!
Why u goofin
up mai hart liek dis?

'member
I is kitteh,
I defsenseless,

I has tiny fistz.
Noe fair is dis
starnge langague

u throwz at meh:
dis englis I noe
can undredstandz.

I noe can has
unredstrands of dis
fingie, teh u an meh.

Boxin

This porblem
gettin srious
I no cute can has
noe brainz eitherz

mai small pawses shadoe-
boxin in da nite,
r u alrite, aks

collegaues, friens, evan
boss bot at work.
They all iz

boxin meh
into teh porblem
categoreh


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Sad 'Puter Kitteh

Wy u aks,
sad kitteh has
sads?

Coz I noe
spel can has.
Mai pawses

noe fits da
hooman
keeboards.

Unrequited Kitteh

I iz tireds of u, kitteh!
U iz oldes and hairy!
Neva writses interwebs messege!

Beuti, I noe looks at u
agan. Oldes shue
mor bootiful than u.

Shue give meh moe
kommunicashun,
moe half-eatsen

cheetsburgr, moe
affectshiun
than u.


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Interweb Messege

Waitsing for teh
interweb message

lika hooman,
but noe

wooman
kitteh writses.

I iz mad.
She disaster.

She flavor of
brokun hartses.

I Iz Compares U 2 Cheezburgr?

(Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer's Day)

I iz compares u 2 cheezburgr?
U be grater and rite tempratures:
Raff windz shake up da cute littl fishes,
Cheezeburgr’z gone 2 soon.

Somtymes da skye eye 2 hot,
Or noe shine all da tyme,
All cuties somtymes not so cute,
And cheezburgr’z gone 2 soon.

But ur cheezburgr iz foreverz!
Will notz looze flavourz!
Noe dogz wil eatz u!
Coz u in kittehpoem.

If kitteh breathses, and kitteh seez
Loooooong live kittehspeak, and u beez.

U sure


I no


can has


cheezburger?

I No Can Has Cheezburger

My hart
It darkens

It bites
Suspectious

I no can has cheezburger
I no can has bucket

Ceiling cat no seez me
Nobudy lovez me

Noes to cookies
Noes to fishies

Noes to my owns

Kittehs

Small Labyrithz Brain

Oh noes
I is in the labyrithz

agen.
Thoughts no big
enuff

fo changing.

She z
in my hairs

agen: wher
littles brain
used 2

b.

Doawn da Chest

I cans already feelz da
disappointment
lika wet blankit

sinkin fealing
progressin doawn da
chest to da stommach

noeone is in da celing
noebudy is singin
ladyz noe feelin, noe

stealin mye heartses
uh noes, noe such
goins onz.

Me listehs to
metal kitteh
screming solid

muther cat. I can
has muther? I can has
muther tummyrubby?