31/05/2008

Straind Bwain

da trains keeps on leavsin
wif mah letturs
i no has belivesin
kommunikahun no moar

mi rrroar is wiffout echoes
at wars wiff mi poor littles
bwain, straind wif guesswork
and starnge bitty thougths

30/05/2008

Go 2 Bed














Go 2 bed, she sais.
But der’s nuffin

intrestin in der, i sais,
juss ol’ stuffi dreems

& reems of new 1s,
& da coffi machine

i needs 4 mi awake.
Da earth & I

wud shake, i sais,
if dis empti spase

wuz filleds wif
a littles bit of u,

an arm & a leg,
i wud gives u,

& an oldes man-
shun 2 boot.

All Mi Falt

funny pictures
more cat pictures

I is systematicli bothring
mi clever kitteh with nonsense

it keeps mi happi to keeps her
from importants stuffs

laik walksin about in an abondond house
thingkin abouts papirs and cute little dogs

& I njoy it immensly,
dees squirmish konversashuns

dees komplains, dis “It clogs
mi system, dis nonsens,

I used 2 be so effishent,
it is all ur falt.”

29/05/2008

Mi Face Is Braking

No-buddy is not online agen
althogh i is byin a house 4 mi kitteh.

I knows i is beyond ur comfort zone,
and way beyonds da pale,

and quite crazi 2.
But u is murderins me slowli

I no has appreshiats it,
mi face is braking in dis

mizxture of blossom
and cow dung,

and distanses 2 grate 2
ovahcome.

24/05/2008

Littles Kitteh Leavsin

I could travel all that way  All I would need is you
see more crazy cat pics

mi stiff littles kitteh is leavsing
4 da far awai contris,

i will miss dis hunchback smallness,
da faint scent of hidden measurements,

da gentle abuse of tini elaphants,
her shaki-paw-nevah-getsin-2-business

and her eyeses maksin mi eyeses
water wif da beuti uf it alls

21/05/2008

Bootiful Stargneness

der b a starngeness in mi offis
she remebers everufing i says
she offurs 2 taik me 2 da moon
n backs agen, den hesitates,

n says “Bill Clinton iz increbibly sexi”
den yells at me, calls me n idiot,
n den goes backs 2 her b-ing dis
miniskul, powrful, bootiful starngeness

18/05/2008

Anudder Wastid Thougth

funny pictures
more cat pictures

Da deadness uf dis thouhgt iz so obviush 2 me nao.
Evens if u reportedli died tryins 2 calls me,

I wuddnt belive it, n it wuddnt becomes me. Da onli
porblem nao iz wut 2 do wif dees pomes littring da riverside,

all dis energi spent, all dis guud rubber on wheels spent,
all dis snow I arrangeds 4 u, all dees thougth prosesses.

Thanks yous agains. I iz confidents dat
der will B no furhter throubblings uf me brains.

(Dis B translashun of orginal Sad Kitteh Sister pome)

17/05/2008

Gnats













Itz semented in me nao:
da knowladge

dat I iz not wunted
in dis wai. Finalli

I cans rest, takes a long
brake from dees trobbling

emoshuns, thankfulli.
Da gnats witch keap swarmin

abouts meh hed
wills finalli goes awai.

(Sad Kitteh Sister translation here)

Lass Dai uf Our Akwaintans

Dis b da lass dai uf our akwaintans,
ill meat u l8r in somebuddis offis.

U foold me agian, by suddnly
remeberin mi name. Mi stoopidsity

angurs me 2 no end. I honesly dont know
y i botherd wif u at all.

Ill meuw but u wont lissen 2 me,
onli yell at me. Da bad sead wuz planted

b4 u came herez, off curse u b
takin me 4 granted. It b all

mi falt. 2 accommodatsing,
2 opun, 2 invitsing abuse.

14/05/2008

Heterokitteh Dogma

humorous pictures
more cat pictures>

Mah heterokitteh
wunts moar dogs

at da lunch table,
she wunts to eats

dem ups. Wut
can i say?

I cant judge
da cutesness

uf dees dogs,
or wut dey taste

likes. I plase
random man-dogs

heres and deres
for her 2 chew at,

but nots gud enuff,
she tells me

she wunts 2 noas
wut dey likks like,

wut dey tailz like,
n how long.

Butt i keeps getsin
da meshurments rong.

12/05/2008

Ritin da Wrongs

In da midst uf all da anger
i lubs u to bits

in middel of all stoopidity
u awoked my sleepsi hart

n mades it prickli n sensitif.
Mah deer, mah mate, mah long

lost lubs of da mountin,
mah hart iz brakin,

mah tongetiedness
evadsing da song.

Speeks 2 me pleez,
gives me n opning

n i will sing, i will
brings it to u slowli

wif mah left hand
open, mah rite hand

wrigthsening
de rongs.

10/05/2008

Da Planets

funny pictures
more cat pictures

da planets
dey b talksing 2 meh

slowli, determinedli,
like trees do

dis fing muss meen sumfing
or i b lost soal

swimmins in da
syrupi ink uf spase

wastin taim
loosin aim

nevr touchin
celin cat again.


(translation here)

Starngeness

I will nots impart my starngeness
on ur fixed no-friend kitteh brain

no moar, dis long lost lubs
slowli fizzels out among

strains of hair, nao litterin ur
sofa bed, wher I keeps mah afraid.


(translation here)

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

08/05/2008

Want

kwaiet kitteh
ur not helpin

i noes not teh key
da door’s not opning

rite paw stuck
in a bukkit of past

left paw weak n un-
decidabli combin meh fur

i wants dis bootiful
cheezburgr!

moar than tounge
n lacks of

opposable thums
can deals wif

128291014922933750want.jpg
more cat pictures

07/05/2008

Starnge Dreems













but i gennuinelly
laik u, i truly do

y u thro my
flowr on da floor?

da long slow haul
to parshial unredstandin

iz filld wiff
littles lava streems

starnge dreems
n queshuns laik dees

05/05/2008

A Littles Halp?

Humorous Pictures
more cat pictures


HALP!
I iz such

an idiot, yes?
I gots da signalls

all messd up:
da moon n da stars,

da red n da green
traffik lites

all lukk da saim
2 me nao.

I cants make outs
da fluffy stuffs

in ur hed,
miladi.

03/05/2008

Hide, No Seek

funny pictures
see more crazy cat pics


No wai
u has founds

mi outs.
I is riting

into empti
space n

i laik it
dat wai.

Dis fing
iz juss

n xperment,
i no likes

emoshuns
all ovah

da place,
laik dis,

on da interweb.
N truss me

i rly iz
inteligent,

N noes how
2 spell.

02/05/2008

Wunt 2 Tri It Outs?

Humorous Pictures
see more crazy cat pics


I mait tri u out fo size,
juss a littles bit, K?

No strings, no email
attackments, juss

da littles body, K?
Howz wood dat

feel? Pretty gud,
no dubt, a Derridean

fing, da différance,
sheddsin it's no-lite

on our no-lubs,
but it mite b alrite,

nao dat i learnt hows
not 2 falls in lubs

wiff U, nao dat
U not gonna chase

me doan, honei.
Sortuf. It willz

taik sum taim
no dubt

2 adjuss, but
it willz B fun.

Senstive Fing!

humorous pictures
see more crazy cat pics

Whoaa!
Senstive fing!
K, I is not
menshunin it

agen, den,
ur udder
kitteh frien,
pinin awai

in da basement,
fer U, her
strayt angary
kitten.

01/05/2008

Mah Kitteh Has Anudder Kitteh

Mah kitteh has anudder kitteh,
she B da Other, she B da Udder

2 mai cold kittehs odd
cravinz, she B da invisble 1.

I iz pitys her, da sad surrogat
replasemnt kat, basement kat,

kept woman. I wills talks 2
da hooman, perswade her

2 go bak to her basement kat,
n leaves mi 2 mi long

hard suffring. Fo surrgate
kats everiwhers.

Da years, da memoris, thei
B backs 2 mi nao

da gravel stikking 2 beetin
hart mussels, da blud

tryin to freese, da train
slowly krashin into

da tiny kitteh brain,
da rain dat wuldnt stop.

funny pictures
moar funny pictures