25/06/2008
Skratching Post
more cat pictures
she’z gone,
soon i iz leavsin 2.
not lifes, uf cours,
dont worries.
not dat i dont
want 2, but
i has 2 try 2
reach dat plase
dat itches so
deep inside
i cant reach it
wiff a skratching
post. i has 2
try 2 brick up
dat hole
in mi head,
plaster dat
gaping hart
shut. I muss
go away
& search
4 da tools
2 do dis.
22/06/2008
No Can Has Forget
da hurt comes
at exacly ten o’clock
no bones abouts it
juss dis wet blankit
uf missed oppurtunitis
dis paper bag uf slow
I muss wear on mi head
from now on
dis stain of idiocity
which wonts go awai
(and I tought I wuz
intelligents...)
dis pain uf no salvation,
dis no can has forget
to undo my mistakes,
to ctrl-alt-delete.
mi unworthy will ruin
mi summerless self,
dere is nuffing in dere
to enjoy
at exacly ten o’clock
no bones abouts it
juss dis wet blankit
uf missed oppurtunitis
dis paper bag uf slow
I muss wear on mi head
from now on
dis stain of idiocity
which wonts go awai
(and I tought I wuz
intelligents...)
dis pain uf no salvation,
dis no can has forget
to undo my mistakes,
to ctrl-alt-delete.
mi unworthy will ruin
mi summerless self,
dere is nuffing in dere
to enjoy
21/06/2008
Nuffing
all iz well, she sais,
nuffing happend
but nuffing iz well,
evrifing happend
& i lost her
furever
nuffing happend
but nuffing iz well,
evrifing happend
& i lost her
furever
Missreadsin Signs
Strollsing down
unrekwaited lubberi lane,
quite insane, kitteh vains
varicose & throbbsin
wif huge unrekwaited,
i walks sidewais
& askew, foolins
miself repeetedli,
fallins into ditches,
missreadsin signs,
forgetsin 2 eat & sleep.
It wuz me who hurt me
all along, dis stupid
hart wuddnt see or
unredstand dis No.
unrekwaited lubberi lane,
quite insane, kitteh vains
varicose & throbbsin
wif huge unrekwaited,
i walks sidewais
& askew, foolins
miself repeetedli,
fallins into ditches,
missreadsin signs,
forgetsin 2 eat & sleep.
It wuz me who hurt me
all along, dis stupid
hart wuddnt see or
unredstand dis No.
19/06/2008
Thoroughly Walkd On
I am a thin piece of meet,
chewd & spat out
on a dirty floor &
thoroughly walkd on.
I am a dirty dish cloth
ridden wif dyftheria,
suiesidal bacteria
infectins da lower
tracts of da larynx
and womb.
Mi songs remain
unsung,
mi chillren still
unborn.
chewd & spat out
on a dirty floor &
thoroughly walkd on.
I am a dirty dish cloth
ridden wif dyftheria,
suiesidal bacteria
infectins da lower
tracts of da larynx
and womb.
Mi songs remain
unsung,
mi chillren still
unborn.
17/06/2008
I Has Bad Afraids
Sad-kitteh-me wunts 2 give
whole-littles-brain-content
to Cold Kitteh, da hole story.
We B in baddes watur now,
krokodiles chasin aftah us.
Cold Kitteh will suie me
dediskret me, sekreet me,
da Sad Kitteh. Mi
feelins will b publischd,
mi carrier will b ovah,
ovah and done wiff.
I ams afraid. I hurted
evrione, inclusin miself,
I shuddve kept mi
Sad-kitteh-brains 2
miself. But den
hows kud I lives?
I is so afraids.
whole-littles-brain-content
to Cold Kitteh, da hole story.
We B in baddes watur now,
krokodiles chasin aftah us.
Cold Kitteh will suie me
dediskret me, sekreet me,
da Sad Kitteh. Mi
feelins will b publischd,
mi carrier will b ovah,
ovah and done wiff.
I ams afraid. I hurted
evrione, inclusin miself,
I shuddve kept mi
Sad-kitteh-brains 2
miself. But den
hows kud I lives?
I is so afraids.
Slo Winnins
Mi winnings R slow & subjekt
2 xtreme prejudish.
All dis wurk & stills nobuddy
lubs me, nobuddy saws me
diggin up this garden, planting
seeds of strangeness and xcellens,
not evan da starngeness herself.
I haves imparteds my otherness
on 2 many, I muss go backs
2 my usual detachd & sorri
& normal self, & no moar has
abmornal hartbrakes.
2 xtreme prejudish.
All dis wurk & stills nobuddy
lubs me, nobuddy saws me
diggin up this garden, planting
seeds of strangeness and xcellens,
not evan da starngeness herself.
I haves imparteds my otherness
on 2 many, I muss go backs
2 my usual detachd & sorri
& normal self, & no moar has
abmornal hartbrakes.
12/06/2008
2nd Birf uf Cheezburger
Turnin & turnin in da widening gyre
Da birdie cannots hear da hungary kitteh;
Thingies r crazi; shoppin centre closes;
Mere anarchy iz loose upon da markit,
Da fish tank breakses, and evriwhere
Innisent kittehs gets horrobli wet,
and has no-can-believes-in, while dogs
yap away energetikalli.
Comeon! sum lighter muss B lyin arond;
Comeon! surely anudder cheezburgerz on da way.
Anudder Cheezburger! I onli meowed dis tought
Den Celing Cat’s giant uncombed fur gots
In my eyeses: sumwheres in cheezburgerless land
There b a starnge lion-hooman thingie,
Who stares like mad dog wiffout empapity,
Movsing its inadqate leggies, while all aronds it
Shadows uf oh-so-tasty but stoopid birdies fly about.
Da darkness falls down again; but finaly i knows
Dat forever sleeping in stones not so gud aktualli,
Will makes u dreem uf dogs throwsing rocks,
& what rofl dog, its thyme at last in da world-nose,
Will skid ungrasefuli towards cheezburger?
Da birdie cannots hear da hungary kitteh;
Thingies r crazi; shoppin centre closes;
Mere anarchy iz loose upon da markit,
Da fish tank breakses, and evriwhere
Innisent kittehs gets horrobli wet,
and has no-can-believes-in, while dogs
yap away energetikalli.
Comeon! sum lighter muss B lyin arond;
Comeon! surely anudder cheezburgerz on da way.
Anudder Cheezburger! I onli meowed dis tought
Den Celing Cat’s giant uncombed fur gots
In my eyeses: sumwheres in cheezburgerless land
There b a starnge lion-hooman thingie,
Who stares like mad dog wiffout empapity,
Movsing its inadqate leggies, while all aronds it
Shadows uf oh-so-tasty but stoopid birdies fly about.
Da darkness falls down again; but finaly i knows
Dat forever sleeping in stones not so gud aktualli,
Will makes u dreem uf dogs throwsing rocks,
& what rofl dog, its thyme at last in da world-nose,
Will skid ungrasefuli towards cheezburger?
10/06/2008
Prejudish Flies
Asian flies are
swarming my littel
prejudice-ridden
would-be lubber’s
littel head
she leans on me
for an outlet 2
her infallible
misunredstandings,
her greatness,
her nonexisting
lubbery of me.
It was me who
supported this
stupid idea
thees cups of tea
dis exessive non-
speaksin madness,
yes I suggested it
& nao it will brings me
down, my mudder
will havs 2 buri me
b4 dis is done, and
it’s all yer fault,
infallible 1.
Birfday Cake
Lubber, u shuddave come ovah,
I wuddave brought u
blankits and bukkits
& a birfday cake dat
wuznt a lie. I wuddave
aksed u serius queshuns
abouts ur life, & gentli
tucked u in mi furri self.
more cat pictures
I wuddave brought u
blankits and bukkits
& a birfday cake dat
wuznt a lie. I wuddave
aksed u serius queshuns
abouts ur life, & gentli
tucked u in mi furri self.
more cat pictures
07/06/2008
Full uf Unfurtiles
06/06/2008
Colonial Kittehs
we is sittin in a farawai contri
sippin tea, bein colonial and veri
amiable, personable, inbetween
our bouts uf manegerial diffrensis
& personal crysis. we divides dees
contris between us. u taik india
& china, i go shoppins 4
udder terrtories, and den some.
ill have cows & meddows,
lilacs, ovahgrown paddocks
& run-down houses. ill take
da lot, dream kittehs & all.
dis fall wills b ours, u knows,
from grace to dilapsidated plase,
ur hairi legs brushin agains mi legs,
ur tonguetiedness in mi moufh,
ur south gone west, mi best beads
litterin ur bed, & tons uf regrets.
we’ll count our sorri monnies den
& havs anudder arguesment.
05/06/2008
Sorry Abouts Mi Needy
I am so sorry abouts mi needy,
interrupturing evri step u taik.
Iz juss, ur beutifulness keeps
me awake, keeps me unseamli,
keeps me takin on tasks
u shud do ur-self.
Ur bootiful speeks 2 me,
slowli, laik swimmins
in a seas uf syrup.
Itz a desparate situashun,
mi legs wont move,
i cannots helps miself,
must makes mistakes
aftah mistakes.
Invizibul
u r bein invizibul,
dats gud. go chase
dose stars, dose
heeps of oxford boys
praysing at ur feet,
admirins ur cheekbones,
& ur nose. in da mean
time, ill be satysfieds
wif da high-res picsures
uf ur eyes i keeps in me
locker, mi onli susstinans
ovah da summer, when u is
awai. sort uf. ur difficult
keeps me wantin udder
kittehs, 4 norishment
ani boddy will do
more cat pictures
dats gud. go chase
dose stars, dose
heeps of oxford boys
praysing at ur feet,
admirins ur cheekbones,
& ur nose. in da mean
time, ill be satysfieds
wif da high-res picsures
uf ur eyes i keeps in me
locker, mi onli susstinans
ovah da summer, when u is
awai. sort uf. ur difficult
keeps me wantin udder
kittehs, 4 norishment
ani boddy will do
more cat pictures
04/06/2008
Pweese Advise
Kittehs arond da whirled, pweese advise:
She gives me noes attenshun, noes akshun
& der B udders, less sexi ones, no dubt
& less difficults, less costli, less
intrestin, no dubt, & perhaps i could settel
4 a smaller house? Aftah all, who needs
7 rooms? Da maintanens wud B
immense and hartache wud xseed
size uf kitteh brain. Wut u say?
I has plenti cottages linin ups.
03/06/2008
Hao 2 Hang Wiff Starngeness
peeps R stupid evriwhere,
peeps R worn out evriwhere
but i has lived a LOT nao, so
u must take dees peas of advice:
Njoy da otherness, writes
starnge pomes abouts it & rejoyce
very seriush sad kitteh sister orginal here
02/06/2008
Prejewdish
Ur plastik fase
Ur prejudish
Ur cat-bashin
keeps me away
U can has
understand?
Ur ageism
Ur traditionalism
Ur kitteh-bashin
keeps mai head spinnin
& empties mi vowels
on da carpet, and all da
moviements uf my bowls
goes into dis hurlin
Ur sexism
Ur racism
Ur heteroism
Ur no-can-has understand
Ur prejudish
Ur cat-bashin
keeps me away
U can has
understand?
Ur ageism
Ur traditionalism
Ur kitteh-bashin
keeps mai head spinnin
& empties mi vowels
on da carpet, and all da
moviements uf my bowls
goes into dis hurlin
Ur sexism
Ur racism
Ur heteroism
Ur no-can-has understand
Hows 2 Create a Crysis
i gots it alls figurd outs:
taik a childhood uf bloodhounds
& appli to da kitteh u liek,
den watsh wut happens
all kins uf hartache will ensue
all kins uf thougths will glue
2 ur fur, dai & nait, keeps u
awaik, maik u say fings
u nevah ment 2. Say
nevahmoar, say u r useless
kitteh to da kitteh u lubs,
den watsh da burnin bridges.
01/06/2008
Kitteh Fallen By the Wayside
Dis B da limit, dis B hao much
abuse I can takes. Kitteh, U fell
so close 2 da finishin lien,
so closed 2 desirin boddy.
My deer, U can has no moar
“mi buddy,” U B impossibl coockie.
Not dat U has 2 much carzy,
juss 2 smalles ears n rezpekt.
more cat pictures
abuse I can takes. Kitteh, U fell
so close 2 da finishin lien,
so closed 2 desirin boddy.
My deer, U can has no moar
“mi buddy,” U B impossibl coockie.
Not dat U has 2 much carzy,
juss 2 smalles ears n rezpekt.
more cat pictures
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